🔗 Share this article

“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into canned food and shotguns.” That bit of wise counsel comes from the Brain Gremlin – a scientifically altered, speaking, spectacled member of the slimy Gremlin horde that swarms Manhattan’s super-smart Clamp Tower skyscraper in director Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Superficially, it’s simply an investment tip from one monster to another. However, curiously, it’s also surprisingly sturdy life guidance. Seriously, listen to my reasoning.

When life takes a turn for the worse, the biggest mistake you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin comprehends this. Indeed, most of the dentally-gifted beasts that populate Dante’s wild 1990 film (possibly his finest) possess the same knowing, self-referential funny bone regarding the blurry line separating daily routine and absolute bedlam. It’s one element of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that ensures my return – and as I age, it’s the underlying idea that echoes the loudest.

A Childhood Fixation

Of course, my fondness for this movie did not begin on such an deeply thoughtful note. Growing up, we only had a few well-worn videocassettes at home. Part of that group were Gremlins and its follow-up, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case almost certainly acquired from an off-brand video shop and boasting growling monsters on its worn-out artwork. I was immediately enamoured and these films did not delay lodging themselves inside my tiny, impressionable mind. From then on, they became an practically routine part of my childhood viewing routine.

Dante’s original usually receives all the plaudits, thanks mostly because of its status as a partly frightening holiday classic – and let me be clear, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. Nevertheless, its successor infrequently obtains the same level of elevated esteem, which feels unjust. As a kid, I’d invariably jump at the prospect to watch Gremlins 2. During long summer holidays, I’d seclude myself indoors and stick it on. When I got my own TV-VHS combo unit, it continued playing looped in my bedroom. With repetition, it etched itself permanently in my mental framework. If my parents observed this fixation, they appeared unbothered.

Hidden Delights and Societal Easter Eggs

As I matured, new insights rewarded multiple watches, elevating the fun of watching small emerald creatures happily vandalize a New York high-rise. I learned the ahead-of-its-time property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was inspired directly by the later-to-be-president Donald Trump, with his red-headed employee Marla (Haviland Morris) referencing his former spouse Marla Maples. Luckily, Clamp possesses greater compassion than his genuine article inspiration.

The “doomsday” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was modeled after a real-life “Doomsday” video created by the CNN boss Ted Turner in case the world actually met its demise. I noticed how Dante took extra pains to film alternate cuts of a self-referential segment where Gremlins take over the exact movie you are viewing. One for cinemas, another for home video and television, each providing a grinning portion of meta pop-culture magic prior to the concept being mainstream.

An Enduring Influence

While it was creature designer Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that drew my gaze as a child, this hidden treasure maintained my fascination as an adult. Eventually, I even conversed with Dante about it myself and he had no qualms revealing to me he made the movie with the direct intention of mocking those who loved its absurd-yet-genuine predecessor and wanted more. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he cheerfully disclosed. This anarchic rebelliousness and commitment to not take his sequel as gravely as his Warner Bros bosses obviously desired, only increased my affection for it.

When I endured a unexpected loss in the family not long ago, I was taken aback to discover that, during my heightest mourning, all I desired to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Possibly not. The soothing reminiscence it provided was necessary to weaken my mind’s grief morass – but the stuff it had imparted to me as an adult were equally valuable.

Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s certain elements in life you just can’t control. Dante is aware of it. The Brain Gremlin agrees completely. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: accept the turmoil, commit your entire being into canned food and shotguns and try not to take things too seriously.

It’s robust worldly wisdom from a highly unexpected fountain – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will eternally stand as my go-to cinematic solace.